I’ve found it! Who would’ve thought that a trip to Noosa and shopping on Hastings Street with The Girls would turn up the first element in my Super Writer Disguise? It, for those wondering, is a fedora hat. I’ve always been one for caps – my soccer team can attest to the fact that I don’t leave home without it, and that they know I’m getting serious when I turn it backwards. But I’ve never been one of those stylish people who wear cool hats of any description when leaving the house. Apart from “hat days”, which in my house usually means I’m sporting a terrifically pointy “Alfalfa” do, or I’ve slept the whole night on one side of my head, resulting in a side-mounted flat-top that would make MC Hammer jealous.
So anyway, I was waiting for The Girls outside a shop, and on a bit of a whim I put on a fedora and turned to my wife and asked “Do I look like a writer now?” After giggling a little (which could really have meant it looked like crap), and saying that it actually didn’t look too bad, one of our friends came out of the shop and said “Oh yeah, that looks so cool!” (Thanks for clearing up the crap/cool thing Kirst!). The only problem – it was way too big for my small head.
From then on, every time we went into a shop that happened to also sell hats of any type or description, I found my head being fitted with all manner of headwear. I particularly like the beanie with fluffy ears and tassles that made me look like I was trying a little too hard to disguise myself as sheep. Not really conducive to writing though. There was also one of those trooper hats, you know the ones with the furry side flaps you see on American guys in the movies? It also had inbuilt headphones for your ipod, but no matter how warm that hat would have kept my head, I draw the line at looking like a dork from American Pie.
There were rastafarian hats, joker hats, bucket hats and sombreros. No matter how hard we looked, though there were plenty of fedora-style hats around Hastings Street, I just could not find one to fit my head. I am now on the hunt for one online, though I keep coming up with the same problem. “Small/medium” means too big for my head, and “one size fits most” – well, my head obviously isn’t in the “most” category. I have tried finding kid-sized fedoras, but don’t wish to be wearing one imprinted with flowers or sparkly things. I just want a cool, (not black) adult-style fedora hat that sits on my 54cm brain box without slipping down over my eyes. Is that so hard to ask? Apparently so.
Hmm. Maybe I should just look for a cape and wear my undies on the outside??